Need to shed this sensitivity

about my art.

The past few days I have been very busy creating small drawings for my etsy shop. While trying to understand the whole business of selling art on the Internet.

I am trying hard to  not let this “selling art” thing consume me, but it is. For one, I am starting to realize now just how possessive I am of my art work. each piece I create, even the ones that I dislike open completion, have a hard grip on my heart. I have yet to understand exactly why. It’s beyond just “OMG I LOVE THIS PIECE.” It’s more like, I rather have it deteriorate under my bed than give it a loving home. I often use the analogy of my art feeling like my children or pets that are meant to be children. But there’s something more to it.

I think my real fear is that someone out there will actually have something horrible to say about my art. And my Art is part of who I am, it has become a definitive part of who I am. Harsh words of my art actually hurt my person hood. (Also to date, I remember every piece that I sold and I try not to think about what condition they are in now).

I am, of course, very good with constructive criticism, otherwise I might not have grown as an artist. I am just not good with apapthy or flat out inconsiderate hatred. Or whatever. Haters should not matter right? But it’s like someone calling your baby ugly. So it’s more than “someone did not like my art,” It’s like, someone is attacking my baby. Only I can put my babies in a drawer with minimal air and exposure to light.

I don’t know if this is making any sense. I just woke up. !@$#$#@#@!

Finally, I hold myself to such high standards that I am constantly trying to explore new ways to enhance my art. I can be very satisfied with my work today, but tomorrow it does not look good enough to me.

I am the hardest to please. Therefore, all the pieces I have ever done are “always in progress” even after absolute completion.

These issues can be hindering to my own work and the joy that I glean from self expression.

So I am gonna work on this issues. I am going to start out by learning to depart with my work. I will sell them.

I will stop being my worst critic.

My work is everything but “just art.” But it’s also, just art. It’s not that serious. Especially the cute little illustration that are being created for the sole purpose of general consumption. They fall outside my “real emotive, I bled into my canvas” kind of work.

I need to chill out.

Damn.